Kid 1 : What is do doom?

Joker: Do doom is when the joker poops on everybody’s hopes and dreams. So don’t eat your hopes and dreams. It started when I learned the truth about the world, but I won’t tell you because I’m so kind.

Kid 2 : If you’re so kind why are you telling us these dark stories?

Joker : This story is darker then the last. This story is about Selena Kyle aka Catwoman. She is the evilest person in the multiverse.  I pooped on her hopes and dreams and in revenge she stole fluffles from me.

Kid 1 : You deserved that.

Joker : Let’s get on with the story.

Kid 2 : Can I go to the bathroom.

Joker : Yes, but then I will kill your mommys .

Kid 1: No not our mommys.

Joker: Once spot a time, there was a villain. The protector of the poor. I called her the monster who stole fluffles from me . To most she was a catwoman, but she will always be the monster who stole fluffles from me to me to me. Let’s see her on her 19th birthday with all the pain in the world. Let’s get in the mind of evil.

Selina:  Enemies are everywhere.when you are a thief, you have to be fast . don’t want to die? Gotta go fast. I can only sleep two hours a knight. each hour at different times. All the people with power want me dead. I need to be the best or I will be dead. My sister, Maggie, makes the plans and l execute the plans without executing anyone. I am called an idiot for that, but if I ever cross a line.I can’t bear to think what Maggie would say. While the rich get everything they want and more. you can’t be poor in gotham and survive without committing some crimes. In a world where the rich can do whatever they want. The rich created a wall from the west end to stop us from where the rich live. The poor are forced to steal. Some criminals create gangs to survive, but the gangs end up as flawed as the system. For most gangs you have to kill one of their enemies to join.I am not part of a gang . I only steal from the gangs  when I have to. I only steal food that I need to survive . I am going to the meaning place. I hope Maggie’s not dead.

Joker: Let’s get out of the mind of evil.ten minutes later. so you know Maggie is in a wheelchair.

Selina: I have got the food.

Maggie: We should split the food into 28 pieces. we will each eat one a day. We don’t know when we will get food again.

Selina: Did you know that rich people have three meals a day . each meal 10 times as big as this entire piece of bead . made by the most talented cooks in the world to make their taste buds happy.

Magie :You’re joking.

Selina : I’m being serious. The rich have it so incredibly good, but they want more and everyone else surfers because of it. It’s song time. You know the rules. I ask you to sing a song. You sing that song, then we switch.I want you to sing a new song.

Maggie : Look at the sunset. It’s beautiful even though it’s blocked by the ambition of the rich. It’s still beautiful . No matter what the rich do, they can’t block it. It still shines as a beacon of hope. The one thing you still get if you’re poor. 

It’s the end of one chapter and the start of the next.  There’s always a possibility that the next chapter will be happier than the last. The rich can’t take away the sunset and they will never take that one joy away. Now you sing the good song.

Selina : You know it has a name.

Maggie : Just sing it.

Selina:  Through the dark times. Through the pain . We have two things to help us survive. The first thing we have is hope for a better life. The most important thing we have is each other.  We will use each other to help us through the dark times. We will get a better life together. We will go through the hardest trials and survive because we have each other. We will mend to each other’s wounds both mentally and physically. let’s fight through the dark times. We might even get a happy ending.

Stan lee: By the order of the joker, you are going to die.

Joker: Selina steals the gun.

Selina: No, you’re going to die in 10 seconds. 1, 2, 3

Stan Lee :Your bluffing. You won’t kill me because you don’t kill and that is going to be your downfall. 

Joker: Stan lee steals the gun.

Joker: Stan Lee shot Maggie in the heart.

Stan lee : Bye.

Maggie : Seliana, I’m scared.

Selina : Don’t be scared. You dealt with the streets of Gotham. You can definitely deal with death.

Maggie : Thank you for keeping me alive for so long.

Selina: Maggie you were the reason I kept myself alive. I love you Maggie.

Maggie: I love you too. Can you please sing me the good song,  one last time.

Selina:  Through the dark times. Through the pain . We have two things to help us survive. The first thing we have is hope for a better life. The most important thing we have is each other.  We will use each other to help us through the dark times. We will get a better life together. We will go through the hardest trials and survive because we have each other. We will mend to each other’s wounds both mentally and physically. let’s fight through the dark times. We might even get a happy ending.

Joker :  A week later. let’s get back into the mind of evil.

Selina : Why do you keep yourself alive? There’s someone who keeps you alive. when she dies, the only reason you still keep yourself alive is because she would want you to stay alive.  You have to deal with the pain. I am the only one who cares that the world lost a treasure. I bared her in the spot she died. Everyday I think about ending my suffering But that’s not what Maggie would want. All the days Maggie worked on making sure I survived. It would not be fair. Every Night I sing the song she wanted me to sing. I can’t forget her.what I would give to see her one more time.

Joker : Let’s get out of the mind of evil.

Talia : Catwoman,you know the world is unfair. The rich are killing  Innocent kids .

Selina : Get to point .

Talia : Of course. I know a way you can help.

Selina: How?

Talia: Steal from the rich and give  to the poor, but if you want real change, you need help. That’s where we come in. We will give you the tools and info to help kids like Maggie.

Selina: So this is not a gang?

Talia: No, it is an international organization.

Selina : Does it have a name.

Talia: It’s called the league of assassins.

Selina:So, I will kill if I join?

Talia : Yes,  some people need to die. If you agree, you will have to train in Saudi Arabia.

Selina : I will have to think about it.

Talia : Ok .I am curious, where did you get the name catwoman. 

Selina: Maggie came up with it.

Joker : An hour later. Let’s get back into the mind of evil.

Selina : What would Maggie want me to do. I need to make my life worth living. Maggie would want me to do what helps the most people. She never liked the idea of killing. I did not either, but if i had killed that man, Maggie would be alive right now. killing is probably the best way of doing some lasting good. If the league is a trap, I can escape.the league is my best option. What if by joining the league, I am not doing what Maggie would have wanted. If I join and kill, there’s no going back. I will take the risk and join the league.

Joker : The end. class dismissed. I will be back for batman vs catwoman.

Kid 1 : Why do you have fairy wings?

Joker : I want to be a fairy.

Kid 2: Why are your fairy wings broken?

Joker : I broke them so I could get a wish, it did not work. I’m going to tell you a story.

Kid 1 :  Is this story appropriate for kindergartners?

Joker : Definitely not.

Kid 2 :  Can I not hear this story?

Joker : Yes, but if you do I will kill your mommies.

Kid 1 : No! Not our mommies!  You are a monster.

Joker : I am not a monster. I’m a lunatic. There’s a very very very very small difference.

Kid 2 : What is the difference?

Joker :  The difference is that the government doesn’t kill lunatics for some reason.

Once spot a time, there was a great hero. He is the embodiment of darkness and vengeance. I called him fluffles but to most he was Batman, but he will always be  fluffles to me. Once spot a time there was a man broken from a young age, dealing with pain nobody should at that age. Don’t you want to be him? Let’s see him at his sixth birthday with all the joy in the world.

Thomas: Hello Brucey, happy birthday.

Bruce : Where are the cookies? There are just crumbs.

Thomas : It looks like there was a mouse. Brucey,  someone is next to the door. Since all the servants are on their day off, can you go down stairs to see what’s going on?

Bruce : Hello, I’m Bruce Wayne. What’s your name?

Lex:  I am Lex Luther.

Bruce: Why did you steal my cookies?

Lex: Before the cookies, I have not eaten in a week.

Bruce : If I didn’t know better,  I would’ve believed you. You are very skinny.

Lex : I am serious.

Bruce : Dad, the kid’s name is Lex. He is very skinny. He says he had no food since last week and that’s why he stole the cookies. That can’t be true,  right?

Thomas : Brucey let him in.  It is time that I tell you this. There are people that are a billion times less fortunate than us especially in Gotham. People like Lex.

Joker : Two years later.

Bruce : Dad, I knew Thomas Eliot was not coming to my birthday, but I still hoped that he would come. Now no one came to my birthday.

Thomas : Lex came.

Bruce : He lives in the same mansion.

Thomas : He lives four stories away. We are going to go to eat food made by the world famous Chef Egg Fu.

Bruce:  Yes ! I love Egg Fu’s food.

Joker : Thirty minutes later.

Thomas : We are here.

Joe Chill : You three are going to die. Pew pew pew

Bruce : No no no no no!

Ambulance : Weu weu weu.

Joker : A week later.

Alfred :Bruce, I’m so glad you’re alive.

Bruce : Alfred, find the most powerful warrior that is looking for someone to train.

Alfred : I found what you were looking for.  Lady Shiva is a powerful assassin.  She helped the Chinese government on many occasions. She lives in Tibet.

Bruce : I need vengeance. Crime has to pay. This assassin can help me get my vengeance.

I won’t let my parents’ death be in vain..

Alfred : You’r training with a criminal to stop criminals. 

Bruce : Lady Shiva worked with the Chinese government. So she is not a criminal.

Alfred: This can’t be healthy.

Bruce: Healthy! Who cares about health when crime is all over the place killing innocents. I’m going to train in Tibet and then come back to Gotham. 

Alfred : Master, you just got shot and saw your parents die in front of you. Now you want to train under an assassin.  I think boarding school would be a better fit.  What about Lex Luthor? Do you want to leave your best friend?

Bruce I don’t want to leave Lex, but crime needs to pay. Alfred, please tell Lex.         

Alfred : I’m not going to let you become an assassin. 

Bruce : I’m not going to become an assassin.

Alfred : Well, that’s what it looks like you are going to become. I  am not going to let you go to Tibet. 

Bruce :  You are not going to stop me. I’m going to hire guards to stop anyone trying to stop me.

Joker : Eight hours later.

Lady Shiva : You’re the billionaire Bruce Wayne.  Why are you here?

Bruce : I heard you were looking for someone to train.

Lady Shiva : Why do you want me to train you?  Do you think it is going to be fun? Because it is not going to be fun.

Bruce : No,  my parents were killed by criminals and I need vengeance

Lady Shiva:  This won’t be easy.

Bruce : I know, this will be hard.

Lady Shiva : First,  you need to create a persona to bring fear to the darkest hearted. The first step is to use your anger to bring fear.  Now you need a powerful, terrifying name.

Bruce : What about Batman?

Lady Shiva : Now, make a suit that everybody fears.

Joker : 12 years later

Bronze Tiger : I am the Bronze Tiger. For too long the Chinese have oppressed the people of Tibet.  I am fighting for Tibet. I don’t care how much death and destruction  I cause.

The ends always justify the means .  Tibet needs to be free. You need to break some eggs to make an omelet. I have an army of trained warriors, not forced citizens.  The right side is going to win and I am going to win.

Joker : A day later.

Lady Shiva:  Bruce, it’s time you use your skills in real life. There is this terrorist. He is called the Bronze Tiger.  He is causing death and destruction.  He needs to be stopped.

Joker : Three months later.

Bronze Tiger : You are known as Batman. You have been defeating my troops more than the Chinese, but you can’t beat me. So I challenge you to a one on one battle with no weapons and masks. I’m fighting for what’s right and I am going to win.

Bruce : You are known as the Bronze Tiger.

You have been defeating the global superpower known as China but you can’t beat me. I agree to your terms.  I don’t need fancy gadgets to beat you. I will show my face.  I’m fighting for what’s right and I’m going to win.

Joker: A day later

Bronze Tiger. You are  a billionaire!

Bruce: Let’s just fight.

<epic fight scene>

Bronze Tiger : I surrender.

Joker : An hour later

Bruce : Lady Shiva, I have captured the Bronze Tiger

Lady Shiva : Do you know why I became an assassin?

Bruce : No. Why?

Lady Shiva : I became an assassin to kill people who kill innocents but say they are fighting for liberty. People like Bronze Tiger. They are liberating people from life. If we kill them.  We are saving innocent lives. You are going to kill the Bronze Tiger. The first kill is always the hardest. There is a thought. That Bronze Tiger doesn’t deserve to die. That thought is thinking of him is innocent.  He is not innocent.

Bruce: Pause.  For just a second  I realized that  I needed something to  stop me from becoming a monster. The three bat commandments.  Number one. Torture is a last resort. Torture can be a good way to get info, but should be a last resort to get info. Number two. Disregard the law. I can’t let the law stop me from my vengeance.  Number three. No killing. Killing is an irredeemable act.  If I kill,  what makes me different from those I fight.  Unpause.

Bruce :  Bronze Tiger run.

Lady Shiva : You have betrayed me. Go now.

Bruce : Let’s see if Lex kept his phone number the same.  Hey Lex.

Lex : Is that you, Brucey

Bruce : Yes. Don’t call me Brucey

Lex : It’s been 13 years since I last heard your voice. How’s it been?

Bruce :It’s been OK.  I am now a powerful warrior.  I am now known as Batman.

Lex : You are Batman!  Well, I’m going to send you a plane to Gotham. I’m going to get Thomas Elliot to meet you too. 

Bruce : No.  He might still be mad at me for promising that his parents will survive but they don’t  survive.

Lex : OK.

Joker :  Eight hours later. 

Bruce : Hello. I was surprised when I heard you took my place as CEO. Congratulations, Lex.  Or should I say Mr Luther. Can you please make a lie for why I was gone for thirteen years. 

Lex : OK Brucey.

Bruce : Don’t call me Brucey

Lex : You chose that nickname. I made this company amazing.  It will be hard to leave it.

Bruce : What, you’re leaving?

Lex : Of course. I am not going to let you be in charge of me

Bruce : I was looking forward to that.

Lex : I’m going to call my new company LexCorp. You should make a public statement.

Bruce : Tomorrow.  I have more pressing matters to attend to.

Joker : An hour later.

Alfred  : Bruce, your back!

Bruce: I told you I would come back.

Alfred : Are you an assassin?

Bruce : No. I don’t kill. I am still going to fight crime. Do you know anyone who has the same goal as me, that I should work with?

Alfred : Yes.  There are two that come to mind. First, is commissioner Jim Gordon.  He is a trusted police officer. One of the few that are not corrupt.  His most famous quote is I only trust one percent of my officers. He is probably in his police station.

Joker:  Thirty minutes later.

Bruce : Hello, I’m Batman.  You can’t defeat Gotham crime without help.  Most of your cops are taking money from those they swore to fight.  You said it yourself. You only trust one percent of your cops. Why not get a powerful warrior on our side. Why not let me fight with you and your one percent under my own terms.

Jim Gordon : Batman you are right . I am desperate, but don’t you think I’m going to let a Tibetin warrior who wears all black…. Wait, you are known for siding with the government. You did that in Tibet. OK, I agree, but at the first clue of betrayal, the deal is off.

Joker :Thirty minutes later. 

Alfred: Did Jim say yes to the deal?

Batman : Yes. Who’s next.

Alfred : For the first time in Gotham history,  a rich person got prosecuted. The one who prosecuted him is a great prosecutor named Harvey Dent.

Joker: Thirty minutes later.

Harvey : Are you an assassin sent to kill me

Bruce : No, I’m here to help you. You are known as a great prosecutor.  You prosecuted a billionaire but you need a lot of evidence to prosecute the rich.

Harvey : What’s the catch? Who do you want me to prosecute? Because I only prosecute murderers.

Bruce: There’s no catch. I just want these crime lords locked up.

Harvey : I agree to the deal.

Joker : One day later.

Lex : It is time for the public statement.

Bruce : Hello, I’m Bruce Wayne. I’m back from a coma to make my city and country better. I have already donated millions to charity. Yes, those donations you have been reading about are from me. That’s all I have to say.

Joker: An hour later.

Alfred : Bruce. There is a crime lord atacking sumer street. 

Joker: The end. No questions.  Class dismissed.  I will be back for Catwoman origins.